My life as a BBW

    Today I woke up at 5am I have no clue why I went to sleep after talking to Matt for like 5 minutes it was 10:50p. We had a little fight and i just was tired and seriously upset. So I decided to sleep. LOL. Anyway, back to this morning. I woke up to the cold, and a bird at my window chirping. He or she does that everyday at the same time. I then said hey little birdie if you want to really live please shut up and go away. It kept doing it then I went to the window and asked it politely and it shut up and went away. After that I was awake. I seriously wanted to sleep, but I watched a Disney movie named spirit. It was an okay cartoon movie thing. The horse just spoke horse pretty much all the movie. I must say it's a tear jerker, I swear i cried for like 20 minutes. I never really cry over stuff like that.     I've been watching the stupid news since 5 as well. Who in the hell sends out party invitations over Facebook? some stupid person who's turning 15 ...

    As usual, Matt leaves on Sunday evenings to go back to college and I usually come up the week after. We pretty much keep a good schedule.  But today, I don't get to see him before he goes. He's leaving in 2 hours.I told him there's no point of even coming to see me, because I'm out of the way and it  will take 40 minutes just to get down here. I wish I could go with him. I just miss him so much.     So in order for me to cope with loosing him every other weekend, he bought me a teddy bear. here's matty.... isnt he cute?  I named him Matty. This teddy bear is so soft and cuddly I love it. Matt even said you like the teddy bear more than you like me. That is so not true. I just like silence sometimes that's all. Matt and I were discussing the future and he really wants me to be there. he said I'm his one and only and he wants that forever. Then I usally say forever is a long time are you sure ?  He beat me to the punch and tr...

    People say you shouldn't look for love, it will find you. I sometimes don't believe things people tell me, but i think this one's true.     Yea so what, i was on dating sites and yes, I even messaged people instead of waiting for them to message me. I thought that maybe men liked a woman who jumps in first. Obviously, thats's a crock of shit! I've had guys message me that aren't even my type or they just want a one nightstand. I then late altered my profile and said, "To all the messed up users and abusers of this site, I'M NOT A WHORE AND NEVER WILL BE!!! So if you want a one nightstand its not me."       That little monologue made men pretty much hate me. I know it's cruel, but I just don't want that kind of drama. Been there done that. I waited patiently for that one man to come in to the picture and he did. it took me 40-50 dates later to find him, but it was worth it. As they say, if a man is...

 this is matt and me...  Besides the no sex and the snoring... Matt is turly the one for me. I've fallen head over heels for this man. I just hope he's done the same... I can't even stop thinking about him from time to time. This labor day weekend was surely something to remember. My dad's 60th b-day party was on Saturday. Even though, his birthday was on Thursday. IT was a real blast. I even spent all my money on his party it was well worth it. He had gotten to talk to people from his home town of Trenton NJ and just reminis about memories. I on the other hand just got to sit down and hold Matts hand and have a great meal prepared by Tiffany. She rocks!! She's my dad's god-daughter. His real 1st daughter not like literally, but the 1st baby girl to take his heart. It's hard to compete with, but I know she loves him like I do.    I had so much fun this weekend it's taken me till tuesday to post this... How funny huh? I've been a busy body... Mak...