My life as a BBW

    As usual, Matt leaves on Sunday evenings to go back to college and I usually come up the week after. We pretty much keep a good schedule.  But today, I don't get to see him before he goes. He's leaving in 2 hours.I told him there's no point of even coming to see me, because I'm out of the way and it  will take 40 minutes just to get down here. I wish I could go with him. I just miss him so much.     So in order for me to cope with loosing him every other weekend, he bought me a teddy bear. here's matty.... isnt he cute?  I named him Matty. This teddy bear is so soft and cuddly I love it. Matt even said you like the teddy bear more than you like me. That is so not true. I just like silence sometimes that's all. Matt and I were discussing the future and he really wants me to be there. he said I'm his one and only and he wants that forever. Then I usally say forever is a long time are you sure ?  He beat me to the punch and tr...

  Expectations can either make or break a relationship... I really can't fathom why Matt wants to be with me. He tells me all the time how much he cares and loves me.  He has also told me that I'm perfect. I can't live up to being perfect. I've thought about breaking up with him, because I don't want to be put up on a pedestal. I know my thought chain isn't really connecting right now. I'm just jotting down what I'm thinking. So I'm really sorry about that.    Back to what I was saying. Matt and I have been talking about marriage and a future. Is it really to soon to start talking about that? I've known him for 2 weeks, but I feel like I've known him for years.  I can really see myself with him for a very long time. I've had so many people tell me that knowing someone for 2 weeks and thinking that he's the one for you isn't so great. I could be wrong, but you know the infamous gut feeling that women get, well I can tell you I hav...

      At an early age I knew that music was my destiny. I started out singing to my moms tapes in her car at the age of 2 or 3. My mom thought it was so cute, and yes back then we had tape players in cars. I know everyone has cd players and ipod adapters today. Anyway back to what I was saying.        My mom was a very musical person, but singing wasn't her thing. I grew up listening to my moms music which consisted of Natalie Cole, Celine Dion, The Bee gees, Elton John, FleetWood Mac, Bob Segar, and  much more but too many to name.  I sang at church, school and of course at home. My mom didn't think that I would want a career in singing, so she paid no attention to it.  When I was 8 years old I decided I wanted to sing for the choir at my church and I did. It was one of the best feelings to know that people were liking what I was doing. I knew right then maybe this is what I was supposed to do with my life.   ...