My life as a BBW

    Today I woke up at 5am I have no clue why I went to sleep after talking to Matt for like 5 minutes it was 10:50p. We had a little fight and i just was tired and seriously upset. So I decided to sleep. LOL. Anyway, back to this morning. I woke up to the cold, and a bird at my window chirping. He or she does that everyday at the same time. I then said hey little birdie if you want to really live please shut up and go away. It kept doing it then I went to the window and asked it politely and it shut up and went away. After that I was awake. I seriously wanted to sleep, but I watched a Disney movie named spirit. It was an okay cartoon movie thing. The horse just spoke horse pretty much all the movie. I must say it's a tear jerker, I swear i cried for like 20 minutes. I never really cry over stuff like that.     I've been watching the stupid news since 5 as well. Who in the hell sends out party invitations over Facebook? some stupid person who's turning 15 ...

Today my teddy bear aka Matt came home today from college for labor day weekend... I was so excited to see him.  So he came over... after me vigorously cleaning my room and the whole house to impress him...  I also made a awesome dinner... Well, I thought it was awesome... Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy with broccoli  . I also made brownies for desert. Needless to say that he didn't eat my brownies... He practically went running... The whole reason behind it was that I was so nervous to have sex with him I just kept physicking myself out.  It took me two hours to wrap the idea around my head. I think I fucked up right at that moment. I should have just went for it. This is why I ruin relationships...     So, I eventually get my top off and just talk to him and everything then we get into it more and he couldn't get it up.  Is it my fault? Am I not pretty enough? what did i do? It was lik...

So I came back from camping yesterday. I was so tired and felt like shit, but I knew I had to meet up with Matt and say goodbye. I can't believe I cried so much over something stupid. I asked what is going on with him.  He just told me that he will miss me and all that jazz. Like come on I wasn't born yesterday. Please just tell me what is going on. Then he told me that him and his father were fighting about me. His father said that long distance relationships don't work and it just wouldn't in this case. His father has been against me ever since we started talking. The 1st thing he said is that girl is going to rob you blind. Like seriously, do I seem like someone to steal from someone. I hate people who assume shit. I'm a nice person I don't use people they use me. I just started crying, because it's fucking bullshit. I've tried so much to please this man and he is so against me. I just don't get it.    Anyway. Just wanted to up date and say I...