My life as a BBW

    Today I woke up at 5am I have no clue why I went to sleep after talking to Matt for like 5 minutes it was 10:50p. We had a little fight and i just was tired and seriously upset. So I decided to sleep. LOL. Anyway, back to this morning. I woke up to the cold, and a bird at my window chirping. He or she does that everyday at the same time. I then said hey little birdie if you want to really live please shut up and go away. It kept doing it then I went to the window and asked it politely and it shut up and went away. After that I was awake. I seriously wanted to sleep, but I watched a Disney movie named spirit. It was an okay cartoon movie thing. The horse just spoke horse pretty much all the movie. I must say it's a tear jerker, I swear i cried for like 20 minutes. I never really cry over stuff like that.     I've been watching the stupid news since 5 as well. Who in the hell sends out party invitations over Facebook? some stupid person who's turning 15 ...

Lonely Why does this always happen to me? Does anyone in this world want me Why do i have to be so lonely the pain inside can't be described in words I feel like nobody's out there It seems like I'm the only one in this dreadful and sorrowful world I have to make this stop This pain is getting worse everyday Soon I will die because of it. I must stop it I must..... This poem was written on 3/25/05 a few days before my birthday. My parents just split a year ago and I still wasn't over it. I was in a new school no one liked me. My own sister even told people that I wasn't her sister... isn't that messed up?  I was really struggling with depression and no one would even listen. I just want people to know that I've been through a lot and that you can relate to me and I hope I inspire people to get better.  Moving out There's always a trill and always a will to move selling and reusing old furniture is always good I'm going to miss ...

      So our timing was a little off.. He was stuck at the eye doctors for a few hours more than we planned and I just seriously didn't want to get out of bed.  We were supposed to be at my friend's house at 1:30 and that so didn't happen I got there by 3 and my Matty arrived  around 4.  I had fun hanging out with Lisa, and her boyfriend Jeremy. They are the best people I know. I hope Matt had a good time, I don't really think he had that much fun.  But I'll see later. We had an awesome dinner turkey breast, mashed potatoes with spinach, and green beans. It was really good. I supplied the desert for the night. angel food cake with strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream.. So awesome!     Well needless to say Matt and I left around 9 30 and went down to the river front in Florence where I grew up. We talked about history of the town and of his home town as well. I could talk to Matt about anything really. Even though, I don't r...