My life as a BBW

Sorry i haven't been around to write in my blog. I wish i had the time to. I've been thinking of ways to do it while I'm at work or on break at least. So whats new right? I met someone hes a awesome guy 31 yrs old someone who's mature and Loves me for me well he doesn't love me quite yet, but i have a feeling he will soon. I met him on okcupid.com fun free dating/meeting site. Our 1st date was planned for tuesday but I surprised him and saw him on sunday night. I took him to my favorite spot. the burlington water front. We talked and I knew he understood everything I was saying, which in turn, is awesome. I've known guys that dont understand words that I say or stupid shit like that.  So thats a few bonus points. We arrived at 10 and left at 12 just talking nothing else was going on... eventhough, we did hear some weird noises coming from the river which couldn't really be explained.  My butt was becoming numb and I asked if he was hungry, because I was star...

I've been moping around for 2 days missing him. I know I shouldn't, but I miss him so much.... Nothing feels the same. I keep thinking did I make a mistake? I shouldn't even think about that. I need to move on. If it's love it will make it's way back into my life. Yes I know every relationship has its ups and downs. It's just the distance and everything that went wrong had become between us.  I guess its my fault, he even said so himself. I've questioned myself and what I've done in the relationship. SO that makes me the scape goat? Whatever, I'm just tired of this cloud that follows me. I am never happy and I should have been. Someone please tell me what to think....     I cant sleep... I need to go to Barngat tomorrow. Whoo hoo... 

    As usual, Matt leaves on Sunday evenings to go back to college and I usually come up the week after. We pretty much keep a good schedule.  But today, I don't get to see him before he goes. He's leaving in 2 hours.I told him there's no point of even coming to see me, because I'm out of the way and it  will take 40 minutes just to get down here. I wish I could go with him. I just miss him so much.     So in order for me to cope with loosing him every other weekend, he bought me a teddy bear. here's matty.... isnt he cute?  I named him Matty. This teddy bear is so soft and cuddly I love it. Matt even said you like the teddy bear more than you like me. That is so not true. I just like silence sometimes that's all. Matt and I were discussing the future and he really wants me to be there. he said I'm his one and only and he wants that forever. Then I usally say forever is a long time are you sure ?  He beat me to the punch and tr...

I'm so excited about tomorrow... Seeing my baby. I can't sleep at all! I can't understand why. I've tried to sleep and it's just insane. I wish I could get to bed so I can leave at 9 to be there at 11. Sheesh, I'm so nervous. Every time I go see him I get nervous. It's crazy. Alright I'm gonna try to sleep... I know this isn't going to happen. But, I have 2 hrs worth of driving to do in the AM.... So talk to you later!!! =) muah xoxo