My life as a BBW

    As usual, Matt leaves on Sunday evenings to go back to college and I usually come up the week after. We pretty much keep a good schedule.  But today, I don't get to see him before he goes. He's leaving in 2 hours.I told him there's no point of even coming to see me, because I'm out of the way and it  will take 40 minutes just to get down here. I wish I could go with him. I just miss him so much.     So in order for me to cope with loosing him every other weekend, he bought me a teddy bear. here's matty.... isnt he cute?  I named him Matty. This teddy bear is so soft and cuddly I love it. Matt even said you like the teddy bear more than you like me. That is so not true. I just like silence sometimes that's all. Matt and I were discussing the future and he really wants me to be there. he said I'm his one and only and he wants that forever. Then I usally say forever is a long time are you sure ?  He beat me to the punch and tr...

Today my teddy bear aka Matt came home today from college for labor day weekend... I was so excited to see him.  So he came over... after me vigorously cleaning my room and the whole house to impress him...  I also made a awesome dinner... Well, I thought it was awesome... Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy with broccoli  . I also made brownies for desert. Needless to say that he didn't eat my brownies... He practically went running... The whole reason behind it was that I was so nervous to have sex with him I just kept physicking myself out.  It took me two hours to wrap the idea around my head. I think I fucked up right at that moment. I should have just went for it. This is why I ruin relationships...     So, I eventually get my top off and just talk to him and everything then we get into it more and he couldn't get it up.  Is it my fault? Am I not pretty enough? what did i do? It was lik...

So I came back from camping yesterday. I was so tired and felt like shit, but I knew I had to meet up with Matt and say goodbye. I can't believe I cried so much over something stupid. I asked what is going on with him.  He just told me that he will miss me and all that jazz. Like come on I wasn't born yesterday. Please just tell me what is going on. Then he told me that him and his father were fighting about me. His father said that long distance relationships don't work and it just wouldn't in this case. His father has been against me ever since we started talking. The 1st thing he said is that girl is going to rob you blind. Like seriously, do I seem like someone to steal from someone. I hate people who assume shit. I'm a nice person I don't use people they use me. I just started crying, because it's fucking bullshit. I've tried so much to please this man and he is so against me. I just don't get it.    Anyway. Just wanted to up date and say I...