My life as a BBW

Sorry i haven't been around to write in my blog. I wish i had the time to. I've been thinking of ways to do it while I'm at work or on break at least. So whats new right? I met someone hes a awesome guy 31 yrs old someone who's mature and Loves me for me well he doesn't love me quite yet, but i have a feeling he will soon. I met him on okcupid.com fun free dating/meeting site. Our 1st date was planned for tuesday but I surprised him and saw him on sunday night. I took him to my favorite spot. the burlington water front. We talked and I knew he understood everything I was saying, which in turn, is awesome. I've known guys that dont understand words that I say or stupid shit like that.  So thats a few bonus points. We arrived at 10 and left at 12 just talking nothing else was going on... eventhough, we did hear some weird noises coming from the river which couldn't really be explained.  My butt was becoming numb and I asked if he was hungry, because I was star...

I'm so excited about tomorrow... Seeing my baby. I can't sleep at all! I can't understand why. I've tried to sleep and it's just insane. I wish I could get to bed so I can leave at 9 to be there at 11. Sheesh, I'm so nervous. Every time I go see him I get nervous. It's crazy. Alright I'm gonna try to sleep... I know this isn't going to happen. But, I have 2 hrs worth of driving to do in the AM.... So talk to you later!!! =) muah xoxo

 this is matt and me...  Besides the no sex and the snoring... Matt is turly the one for me. I've fallen head over heels for this man. I just hope he's done the same... I can't even stop thinking about him from time to time. This labor day weekend was surely something to remember. My dad's 60th b-day party was on Saturday. Even though, his birthday was on Thursday. IT was a real blast. I even spent all my money on his party it was well worth it. He had gotten to talk to people from his home town of Trenton NJ and just reminis about memories. I on the other hand just got to sit down and hold Matts hand and have a great meal prepared by Tiffany. She rocks!! She's my dad's god-daughter. His real 1st daughter not like literally, but the 1st baby girl to take his heart. It's hard to compete with, but I know she loves him like I do.    I had so much fun this weekend it's taken me till tuesday to post this... How funny huh? I've been a busy body... Mak...

Today my teddy bear aka Matt came home today from college for labor day weekend... I was so excited to see him.  So he came over... after me vigorously cleaning my room and the whole house to impress him...  I also made a awesome dinner... Well, I thought it was awesome... Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy with broccoli  . I also made brownies for desert. Needless to say that he didn't eat my brownies... He practically went running... The whole reason behind it was that I was so nervous to have sex with him I just kept physicking myself out.  It took me two hours to wrap the idea around my head. I think I fucked up right at that moment. I should have just went for it. This is why I ruin relationships...     So, I eventually get my top off and just talk to him and everything then we get into it more and he couldn't get it up.  Is it my fault? Am I not pretty enough? what did i do? It was lik...

  Expectations can either make or break a relationship... I really can't fathom why Matt wants to be with me. He tells me all the time how much he cares and loves me.  He has also told me that I'm perfect. I can't live up to being perfect. I've thought about breaking up with him, because I don't want to be put up on a pedestal. I know my thought chain isn't really connecting right now. I'm just jotting down what I'm thinking. So I'm really sorry about that.    Back to what I was saying. Matt and I have been talking about marriage and a future. Is it really to soon to start talking about that? I've known him for 2 weeks, but I feel like I've known him for years.  I can really see myself with him for a very long time. I've had so many people tell me that knowing someone for 2 weeks and thinking that he's the one for you isn't so great. I could be wrong, but you know the infamous gut feeling that women get, well I can tell you I hav...

      So our timing was a little off.. He was stuck at the eye doctors for a few hours more than we planned and I just seriously didn't want to get out of bed.  We were supposed to be at my friend's house at 1:30 and that so didn't happen I got there by 3 and my Matty arrived  around 4.  I had fun hanging out with Lisa, and her boyfriend Jeremy. They are the best people I know. I hope Matt had a good time, I don't really think he had that much fun.  But I'll see later. We had an awesome dinner turkey breast, mashed potatoes with spinach, and green beans. It was really good. I supplied the desert for the night. angel food cake with strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream.. So awesome!     Well needless to say Matt and I left around 9 30 and went down to the river front in Florence where I grew up. We talked about history of the town and of his home town as well. I could talk to Matt about anything really. Even though, I don't r...

      At an early age I knew that music was my destiny. I started out singing to my moms tapes in her car at the age of 2 or 3. My mom thought it was so cute, and yes back then we had tape players in cars. I know everyone has cd players and ipod adapters today. Anyway back to what I was saying.        My mom was a very musical person, but singing wasn't her thing. I grew up listening to my moms music which consisted of Natalie Cole, Celine Dion, The Bee gees, Elton John, FleetWood Mac, Bob Segar, and  much more but too many to name.  I sang at church, school and of course at home. My mom didn't think that I would want a career in singing, so she paid no attention to it.  When I was 8 years old I decided I wanted to sing for the choir at my church and I did. It was one of the best feelings to know that people were liking what I was doing. I knew right then maybe this is what I was supposed to do with my life.   ...