january 24,2010
Today, I tried to wake up at a decent hour since i've been sleeping till 2pm everyday. I haven't been sleeping very well at all. I now usually go to bed around 3-4am. It's been taking a tole on me. I've been trying to figure out why I can't sleep. Could it be because I dont see a good future? or could it be because I'm now unemployed again! or the fact that I'm still single after being back for a year.... I know things take time and I get it. I just dont want to live this lonely miserable life. I've tried so hard to do what I wanted and it really hasn't gotten me any further in life.
Anyway, back to today. I woke up at 1pm shocker right. I looked at my phone i missed like 10 calls and had 20 text messages. Like holy god can't i get a minute to myself. This is my life on a normal day btw. So while calling everyone back and txting replies to everything. I knock on my dads door and tell him that I'm up and ready when he wants to go. I was under the assumpition that we were going to Penn. to get him cigarettes. Then he hit me with oh," i have a doctors appointment at 3" i said thats fine we can do that. So i offered to pay for his carton of newport 100s and he said no, but you can buy breakfast. I said sure why not. So i got 2 bagels with cream cheese and he got a sausge& egg on a crosaint. I also got a large iced mocha latte with whipped cream and dad got a large hot chocolate with some ice.
sorry, loosing my track of thought here. Having a few female problems which are really hurting me... Back to what i was saying. We then went out on the road to go to his doctors which is like 45 minutes away. I really don't know why he doesnt change the doctor but whatever. Not going to go there today... My dad is 60 years old and drives like a freaking snail. I just wish he would let me drive. I get so imppacient and driven up the wall while he drives. he never checks his blind spots or anything. He also smokes like a freakin chimney. everytime he lights his cigarette he steps off the gas and goes like 35 mph in a 50. It drives me nuts I don't know how many times i need to say that. LOL.
So we finally get there. And we are so damn early we have to wait. So my dad and I are sitting there he's just staring out into space and im getting eyeballed up and down by every man in the freaking place. Like really, I can really beat the shit out of you right now. I like getting looked at but when you're married and you're hitting on me in some other way. It's not good I'm no homewrecker sorry you all that are married. They call my dads name like 20 mintues later he gets weighed in and all and put in to a room. The nurse asked why we didnt come in earlier and I said why whats the matter. She said that the doctor told him 2 weeks ago it was urgent and we didnt hear from him until today. I was like thats because hes a jerk. The nurse kinda laughed and said no hes just busy, and i said no he sleeps all day and decided not to tell me about anything. Whats new right. He said into repsonse of everything. Well it looks like you'll be evicted as soon as we get home. I told him oh ya i'm so scared. As soon as the nurse left, he told me calling him a jerk was very rude and disrespectful. I said well you fucking deserved it old man. You're doctor told you its urgent and he needed to see you asap! Whats wrong with you. I would have paid for the doctors and he screams oh thats bull shit! I said fine believe what you want to believe. I so wanted to get up and walk the fuck home even though home was 20-30 miles away. I just didn't want to deal with that. I'm worried about him. hes not getting better and so I have to protect him. so anywa the doctor ripped him a new one and then we went home.
I asked him if we were going to PA and he said no. I said what happened to I couldnt afford it? he said i'll get them at wawa... Which nj state min. is 7.50 a pack. So we got there he bought a carton which came out to 80 somethin and he got milk and whatever else. I didnt talk to him on the way home... only when he asked a question and he would ask it over and over again until i answered it.
I cant write anymore, I hate cramps... I'll cont. this tomorrow... gn you guys... thanks for reading!!!
Anyway, back to today. I woke up at 1pm shocker right. I looked at my phone i missed like 10 calls and had 20 text messages. Like holy god can't i get a minute to myself. This is my life on a normal day btw. So while calling everyone back and txting replies to everything. I knock on my dads door and tell him that I'm up and ready when he wants to go. I was under the assumpition that we were going to Penn. to get him cigarettes. Then he hit me with oh," i have a doctors appointment at 3" i said thats fine we can do that. So i offered to pay for his carton of newport 100s and he said no, but you can buy breakfast. I said sure why not. So i got 2 bagels with cream cheese and he got a sausge& egg on a crosaint. I also got a large iced mocha latte with whipped cream and dad got a large hot chocolate with some ice.
sorry, loosing my track of thought here. Having a few female problems which are really hurting me... Back to what i was saying. We then went out on the road to go to his doctors which is like 45 minutes away. I really don't know why he doesnt change the doctor but whatever. Not going to go there today... My dad is 60 years old and drives like a freaking snail. I just wish he would let me drive. I get so imppacient and driven up the wall while he drives. he never checks his blind spots or anything. He also smokes like a freakin chimney. everytime he lights his cigarette he steps off the gas and goes like 35 mph in a 50. It drives me nuts I don't know how many times i need to say that. LOL.
So we finally get there. And we are so damn early we have to wait. So my dad and I are sitting there he's just staring out into space and im getting eyeballed up and down by every man in the freaking place. Like really, I can really beat the shit out of you right now. I like getting looked at but when you're married and you're hitting on me in some other way. It's not good I'm no homewrecker sorry you all that are married. They call my dads name like 20 mintues later he gets weighed in and all and put in to a room. The nurse asked why we didnt come in earlier and I said why whats the matter. She said that the doctor told him 2 weeks ago it was urgent and we didnt hear from him until today. I was like thats because hes a jerk. The nurse kinda laughed and said no hes just busy, and i said no he sleeps all day and decided not to tell me about anything. Whats new right. He said into repsonse of everything. Well it looks like you'll be evicted as soon as we get home. I told him oh ya i'm so scared. As soon as the nurse left, he told me calling him a jerk was very rude and disrespectful. I said well you fucking deserved it old man. You're doctor told you its urgent and he needed to see you asap! Whats wrong with you. I would have paid for the doctors and he screams oh thats bull shit! I said fine believe what you want to believe. I so wanted to get up and walk the fuck home even though home was 20-30 miles away. I just didn't want to deal with that. I'm worried about him. hes not getting better and so I have to protect him. so anywa the doctor ripped him a new one and then we went home.
I asked him if we were going to PA and he said no. I said what happened to I couldnt afford it? he said i'll get them at wawa... Which nj state min. is 7.50 a pack. So we got there he bought a carton which came out to 80 somethin and he got milk and whatever else. I didnt talk to him on the way home... only when he asked a question and he would ask it over and over again until i answered it.
I cant write anymore, I hate cramps... I'll cont. this tomorrow... gn you guys... thanks for reading!!!
Comments
Post a Comment